chainrxn

CHAPIN CHAPIN CHAPIN CHAPIN OPEN YOUR BEER

Wait. How big is A-Rev's chainring? 40t?

I once heard that Cam McCaul arm-wrestled Clint Eastwood in a seedy nightclub called The Alibi- an old IHOP that started selling beer to bolster lunch sales and never looked back. McCaul was about to lose, badly, when he remembered that Eastwood was ticklish in the scariest of all places...his bald spot. McCaul reached out, and instead of manhandling his vodka-soaked short-stack of pancakes like Clint thought, he let his fingers do the moonwalk right over the shiniest place on the mans head. Needless to say, Clint lost it. Never before had such peals of laughter echoed through that dank, dark place. The cooks looked up from their toast a la whiskey. The diners looked up from their complimentary wine-cooler fruit-bowls. The hostess woke up for a brief second, mumbled something about Brett Tippie tipping wonderfully (a story for another time), and then fell back asleep in the defunct claw-machine prize bin. Cam McCaul won something that day, and Clint Eastwood lost his most precious gift- the personal gravity that made him a star. Cam could now soar over canyons and flow down the steepest chutes in perfect poise...double your gravity, double your fun.

[B]Sale[/B]: Noun. A period of time during which objects for sale are reduced in price. [I] The sale was yesterday, and everything was super cheap.[/I] [B]Calgary Cycle[/B]: Noun. A reputable Canadian retailer of bicycle related merchandise. A real go-getter. [I] Dude, I just got my new frame from Calgary Cycle three days early![/I] [B]Idiot[/B]: Noun. Anyone who does not get in on the Calgary Cycles sale. See: fool, dunce, ignoramus, halfwit, jackass, idiot-man-child, Cartman, wizard of nothing, Yeti-spotter, inhalant aficionado, dropped baby, damaged goods, the easy sell, the ugly truth, the man with half a brain, sock-drawer burglar, and last but not least, FOOLISH,FOOLISH CONSUMER. [I] Your wife's going to kill you, you idiot! That was $300 cheaper at Calgary Cycles![/I] 100 dollars= new tires and bars for my bmx, a new shirt to replace my well-loved threads, and less guilt about spending hard-earned cash on my bike rather than my girlfriend, who lives in Canada seven months of the year. All in all, an awesome opportunity.

[B]Sale[/B]: Noun. A period of time during which objects for sale are reduced in price. [I] The sale was yesterday, and everything was super cheap.[/I] [B]Calgary Cycle[/B]: Noun. A reputable Canadian retailer of bicycle related merchandise. A real go-getter. [I] Dude, I just got my new frame from Calgary Cycle three days early![/I] [B]Idiot[/B]: Noun. Anyone who does not get in on the Calgary Cycles sale. See: fool, dunce, ignoramus, halfwit, jackass, idiot-man-child, Cartman, wizard of nothing, Yeti-spotter, inhalant aficionado, dropped baby, damaged goods, the easy sell, the ugly truth, the man with half a brain, sock-drawer burglar, and last but not least, FOOLISH,FOOLISH CONSUMER. [I] Your wife's going to kill you, you idiot! That was $300 cheaper at Calgary Cycles![/I] 100 dollars= new tires and bars for my bmx, a new shirt to replace my well-loved threads, and less guilt about spending hard-earned cash on my bike rather than my girlfriend, who lives in Canada seven months of the year. All in all, an awesome opportunity.